Ministry Leaders Find Help for Sex, Porn Addiction

A much larger percentage of the population is dealing with sexual addictive behaviors than ever before. In fact, a recent study led by Chyng Sun of New York University concluded that pornography has become a primary source of “sex education.”

“The more pornography a man watches, the more likely he was to use it during sex, request particular pornographic sex acts of his partner, and deliberately conjure images of pornography during sex to maintain arousal,” the research team concluded after studying 487 college men, more than two-thirds of whom identified as Christian. According to the study, 97 percent of pornography users gain access to it via the Internet, and 59 percent of men view pornography at least weekly.

“There is a huge growth of the use of porn on smartphones and the early problem has been the traditional ways of blocking and monitoring them don’t work as well,” says Mark Laaser, an authority in Christian sex addiction recovery circles. “It’s an epidemic among adolescents and teenagers, and newer technologies will affect the emotional and spiritual development of our youth.”

The NYU report found that men who expressed a stronger commitment to religious faith actually showed an increased preference for porn over actual physical relations.

Laaser believes Satan targets ministry leaders with temptations of sexual and pornography addiction. Research conducted by Laaser’s Faithful and True Ministries in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, shows ministry leaders are more vulnerable to sexual seduction because of professional loneliness and isolation.

“They often don’t have a sense of how to connect with people at a deeper emotional or spiritual level,” says Laaser, author of Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addition. Laaser says pastors typically work long hours, aren’t compensated as well as they would be in other professions, and are susceptible to burnout. This sense of being overworked can lead to a sense of entitlement. Nearly a quarter century ago, colleagues fired Laaser, then working as a pastoral counselor, upon discovering sexually inappropriate relationships with some of his clients.

Certainly pastors don’t consciously risk destroying their career, family, or reputation. Yet without addressing underlying issues causing compulsive behavior, they frequently continue in secluded destructive episodes, plus subsequent self-loathing, anxiety, and depression.

“The pastor is typically the most isolated guy in the church, extraordinarily vulnerable to the seductive power of pornography,” says Nate Larkin, founder of the Samson Society, a nationwide fellowship of Christian men gathering in authentic meetings in more than 400 locations. “Confession for him is most dangerous. In most denominational structures, it’s vocational suicide.”

The Nashville-based Larkin, who left the pastorate after descending into sexual encounters with prostitutes, says he has noticed in the past five years of speaking at churches that Christians are becoming increasingly receptive, and in some cases, desperate, for the topic to be addressed.

The sex addiction recovery movement began in 1975, four decades after Alcoholics Anonymous started. While alcoholics have gained sympathy because their condition is considered a disease, many Christians feel uneasy about categorizing adultery as an uncontrollable behavior. Laaser says he doesn’t know if sexual addiction recovery will gain as wide acceptance as treatment for problem drinking.

“There is a difference between alcohol and sex,” Laaser says. “There is something deeper about sexual sin. There is a harsher judgment.”

“In another twenty years Christians will be more educated and won’t be so quick to shoot their wounded,” predicts addiction counselor David Zailer, founder of Operation Integrity (OI), based in Monarch Beach, California. “Pastors have a calling that is not necessarily rescinded when porn problems arise. They shouldn’t be destined to work in a hardware store.”

Of course for some pastors the problem goes beyond looking at pornography to acting out sexually. Still, Zailer is hopeful.

“Addiction is a diagnosis — but it’s also a sin,” Zailer says. “I don’t see addiction as something to get over, but as a portal to transformation. Addiction itself is not the tragedy. It’s not knowing what to do with the addiction.” OI’s services include 30- or 90-day treatment programs that involve such components as daily phone counseling, individual therapy sessions, establishing accountability partners, and 12-step recovery meetings, which use Zailer’s books When Lost Men Come Home and Our Journey Home.

There are levels of severity when it comes to sexual sin. Pastors who have crossed the flesh line with another person — an adulterous partner or prostitute — have a higher level of pathology than those who gaze at Internet porn, Laaser says. Being unfaithful with a member of one’s own congregation is one of the most egregious offenses, according to Laaser. That pastor loses the ability to stay in the ministry, in large part because of legal ramifications. If a pastor is allowed to remain in the pulpit and he relapses, the offended parishioner could sue for damages against the congregation or denomination.

A revelation by a pastor to a local board or an overseeing body that he is struggling with sex issues often isn’t met with compassion, but rather a request to turn in his resignation. Seminary graduates often are reluctant to admit a vulnerability to sexual sin, Larkin says.

“Because of my arrogance, it took me three years after entering recovery before I actually experienced solid sexual sobriety,” Larkin says. “I had a master’s degree in God, so I felt better qualified than the ordinary person to find a spiritual solution.”

The pastor’s spouse can be the most neglected person in the whole process, according to Laaser, who remains married to his wife of 42 years, Debra Laaser, author of Shattered Vows: Hope and Healing for Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed. Spouses must know the proper balance between establishing boundaries, yet not micromanaging recovery. Experts say confession and repentance on the part of the offending party are essential. Some pastors want to return to ministry too quickly, engaging in the same denial and minimization that got them into trouble in the first place.

“The healthy guy is going to understand the consequences of sin and is not going to seek immediate restoration,” says Laaser, who recently has been restored as a fully ordained pastoral counselor. “They know it’s a process that may take a year or two, and it depends on the wife seeing an honest, humble, broken, and contrite heart.”

Historically, sexually addicted people have been abused in their formative years. But because of the ubiquitous availability of porn, addiction cases now are reported among those with a “normal” upbringing. Accessing computer images is easy, anonymous, and often free.

“The current incarnation of pornography — full-motion video — is so much more powerful than the print pornography I got started with years ago,” Larkin says. “There is no end to the supply; there is no end to the variety.”

Sexual and pornography addiction is an embarrassing topic avoided in many church circles, but the Assemblies of God long ago formed a structured discipline and restoration process for ministry credential holders.

Minimally, a minister who confesses to sexual addiction faces a two-year restoration process, with the possibility that ministry will be off limits during the entire span. Rehabilitation involves counseling, accountability procedures, regular meetings with district supervisors, and usually a professional assessment to determine if a return to ministry can be accomplished without returning to the destructive behavior.

The Fellowship has a five-stage offense policy regarding porn use. Pastors who confess to curiosity or experimental involvement are subject to three to six months of counseling, but won’t be suspended. However, those engaged in regular, habitual, or addictive porn involvement face a suspension of their license and a longer recovery plan.

AG General Secretary Jim Bradford notes that disciplinary procedures are carried out at the district level, and a minister can be dismissed because of an uncooperative attitude or because of the nature of the offense. Viewing child pornography, homosexual acts, or images of a “highly perverted nature” are grounds for automatic dismissal, Bradford says.

Bradford says far from a majority of AG credential holders are hooked on porn, but he concedes the actual number is likely more than known because ministers are fearful of admitting involvement lest they forfeit their career. In some cases, districts recommend pastors seek help from an organization such as Emerge Counseling Services in Akron, Ohio.

Addicts spiral into hopelessness because of the repeated pattern of unsuccessfully trying to stop. Experts are united in believing ministry leaders can’t conquer addictions on their own. Human interaction is key. Tools include group participation, honest friendships, accountability, a sponsor, and computer software monitoring programs. Bradford says the majority of  AG ministers who go through the restoration process return to fruitful ministry.

“In most cases, we believe the redemptive power of Christ can break the addiction,” Bradford says. “We believe in the processes of confession and repentance.” 

John W. Kennedy

John W. Kennedy served as news editor of AG News from its inception in 2014 until retiring in 2023. He previously spent 15 years as news editor of the Pentecostal Evangel and seven years as news editor at Christianity Today.