Common Questions About Gender Identity and Sexuality

AG News asked a panel of ministry leaders to discuss some common questions surrounding the issues of gender identity and sexuality. Participants are:

Janet Boynes — an Assemblies of God evangelist and the founder of Janet Boynes Ministries.

Emily Oakley — an AG U.S. missionary and founder of Rebirth Ministries.

Jason Tourville — a licensed professional counselor, ordained AG minister, and chair of the Assemblies of God Mental Health Committee.

AG News: How should Christians respond to family members who announce they now identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, or queer (LGBTQ)?

Jason Tourville: Christians are called to respond with both truth and grace. Scripture teaches that every person is created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and possesses inherent dignity and worth. At the same time, Christians believe that God’s design for sexual expression is within the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6), and Christians are called to remain faithful to biblical convictions.

Janet Boynes: The Bible clearly teaches that homosexuality is wrong. As Christians, our allegiance is to God and His Word, not to whatever popular culture happens to think is right at the time. The gospel of Christ includes the entire Bible, not just the parts that make us feel good, and the gospel does not change. Christians must stand firm on what the Word says and not compromise.

With that being said, I would encourage family members not to panic, and not to pretend the struggle your loved ones are going through is not valid. Really listen to what they are saying. Panic only creates more anger, shame, or control. However, affirmation is not love. We must respond as Jesus did. Say clearly, “I love you. I am not leaving you, but I cannot agree that this identity is who God made you to be.” Maintain the relationship you have with them whenever you can, ask good questions, and pray faithfully. Refuse mockery and rejection but also refuse to bless what God calls sin.

“Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6).

AG News: Can a person who struggles with same-sex attraction change?

Emily Oakley: Yes. Based on what we know of Scripture, transformation is not only possible, it is God’s desire for us. If we don’t believe people can change, we are diminishing the power of the Cross.

This applies to many issues in life, not just issues of gender, identity, and sexuality. As we work through whatever issue we are dealing with, we must address roots. Too often we try to pick apart the fruit that we see, but we have to go deeper — we have to allow the Holy Spirit to deal with the root of what has brought the fruit to the surface.

Tourville: The simple answer is absolutely. The gospel has the power to transform every life, but transformation doesn’t always look the same for every individual. An interesting component to this is neuroplasticity and how the brain can physically change. Science confirms this is possible, so it reinforces what we see in Scripture – that we can be transformed by the renewing of our mind.

AG News: Many who identify as LGBTQ claim they feel judged or belittled by Christians or say biblical definitions of sexuality and marriage are an attack on their identity and dignity. What would you say in response to those claims?

Oakley: First, I would clarify their definition of attack. Unfortunately, culture has intertwined the meanings of attack and confront. There are Christians out there that certainly attack others, and we aren’t called to attack anyone. But we are called to confront. Often what those who make these claims are feeling is an assault against their flesh, something we all experience. The Bible confronts the sin in all of us. It isn’t something that is comfortable, but it brings to light the things that are keeping us from living God’s best.

A great example of this is Jesus and the woman at the well. Jesus saw where she was at, He confronted her sin, but He wasn’t doing it in an abrasive or critical manner. Instead, He was letting her know that He saw the sin in her life but had so much more for her.

Boynes: I grieve any time Christians have mocked, belittled, or mistreated someone in this way. Biblical truth is not an attack on human dignity, it is the defense of it. However, dignity does not come from sexual identity. It comes from being made in God’s image, male and female, and belonging to Christ. The Bible righteously judges all of us in our sin. But true love also tells the truth and calls sinners to life in Jesus, and affirmation of sin is not love.

AG News: How might you respond if someone you know asks to be referred to with pronouns opposite his or her biological sex?

Boynes: I would respond with kindness, but I would not lie. I might say, “I care about you and want to speak respectfully, but there are ways of speaking that I do not believe are truthful. I am happy to call you by your name, but I cannot use words that, in my conviction, deny how God created us.”

Tourville: When responding to this issue, context matters. The context is determined by my relationship and role, both of which determine my response. If the person involved is my biological child, my response is different than if the person is a co-worker or a neighbor. Truth never changes, but our responses may differ. However, it’s a challenging question, and one that often brings about arguments that only act as smoke screens for the real issue. Behind this issue usually lies a distorted view of God, of self, and of others. When views of these things are distorted, it leads to brokenness.

AG News: What are some practical ways Christians can show God’s love to those who identify as LGBTQ?

Boynes: Christians are called to show love by being truthful, patient, present, and prayerful. Invite them into your life. Eat meals with them. Listen to their story. Do not treat them as a political issue, rather treat them as a soul. Look for wounds, shame, loneliness, rejection, abuse, or false beliefs that may have shaped their identity. Keep appropriate boundaries. Do not celebrate sinful relationships or false identities, but do not disappear either. Love is represented best by hospitality, discipleship, faithful friendship, and prayer. Christian love has both a backbone and tears. Romans 2:4 talks about the love of God and how it draws one to repentance. God wants us to mirror that love and draw others to Him with the way we reflect His character.

AG News: How can we pray for friends and family who may be struggling with their sexuality or gender identity?

Tourville: First and foremost, I would pray that God would draw them into deeper relationship with Himself. Real transformation comes only from the work of the Holy Spirit. Pray that they would experience the love of Jesus Christ in a real and tangible way, that God would reveal His truth clearly and lovingly, and that they would find their deepest identity in Christ. I would also pray that God would bring healing to any wounds, rejection, trauma, or confusion they have experienced and that Christians would interact with them in ways that reflect Christ’s compassion.

Boynes: Pray with faith, not despair. Ask God to save, convict, heal, and restore. Pray that the Holy Spirit would expose lies, grant repentance, and reveal to them that Jesus has a much better plan for their life. Pray Ezekiel 36:26, that God would give them a new heart, a heart of flesh instead of a heart of stone. Pray 2 Timothy 2:25-26, that they would come to the knowledge of the truth and escape the snare of the devil. Pray also for yourself, that you would not be ruled by fear, anger, manipulation, or false compassion. Ask God to make you patient, courageous, tender, and truthful.

AG News: What resources would you recommend regarding these topics?

Oakley: There are a lot of good resources out there, including my book What Good Little Church Girls Don’t Always Look Like: Understanding Struggle in Light of the Gospel. Other resources from people like Dr. Linda Seiler and Joe Dallas are great options.

Tourville: I think the Assemblies of God has some great position papers on this topic. They are well written and communicate clearly what we believe. Focus on the Family also has some great resources available. But above all, Christians should keep returning to Scripture, prayer, and the example of Jesus. Our calling is neither compromise nor condemnation, but faithful discipleship marked by grace, truth, humility, and love. As Colossians 4:6 reminds us, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

*Additional resources are available from Restory Ministries.

AG News